i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Bring me that man meat
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
