and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize