I heard we made out
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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