I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize