I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
