So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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