brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
