She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
