I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
