yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The Olympian is in my bed
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize