Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
