she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I touched a dick in church today
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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