her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
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