i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.