i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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