whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?