he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
25 Men Talk About the First Time They Went Down On A Woman
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
23 Ex Fraternity Brothers & Sorority Sisters Confess Their Most Insane Stories
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...