Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.