I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize