dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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