Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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