You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
