There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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