What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
