Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
