he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We are two peas in an std pod
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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