I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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