omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Randomize
