xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
