I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
