If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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