after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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