i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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