So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
This is classic penis vs brain.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize