do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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