I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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