the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
