i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
