my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
