I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
