my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Pooping to opera.
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