i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
