if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
