grandma shit on top of the toilet
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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