i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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