How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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