I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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