okay pat passed out under dana's car
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
