You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
