How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
