Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
