I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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