so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
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So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
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Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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