Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
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He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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