new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
