His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
i think my cat just said my name.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
