remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
