having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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