I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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