I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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