I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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