The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
