I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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