Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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