Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I see more hoeing in ur future
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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