...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I need moral support for this bender
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize