I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
